Every day.
I think there's something I'm missing
Something I'm meant to say
Something I need to say
>How many times have I
And yet
It doesn't happen.
Every day.
Every single day.
:Aspirations of a Lonely Girl: by sucralose, literature
Literature
:Aspirations of a Lonely Girl:
To wear the clothes I want to wear
See the things I want to see
Do the things I want to do
Be the girl I want to be
To say the words I want to say
Receive the wings I need to fly
To think of what is yet to come
Instead of everything gone by
To lose naivety and grow
Learn all the things I want to learn
Become something more interesting
To the one for whom I yearn
To wear the clothes I want to wear
See the t
there is a movement
round in circles
takes me high and low
and they said i shouldn't
but i
can't stop
i'm right where i want to be
i'm right where you want me
you're right where i need you.
i'm all too aware of
every motion
every
...breath
you
i don't think of anything else
right now
you are my world
spiritually
mentally
physically
where our bodies touch
the electricity is
stronger than lightning
and the eye contact oh
you hold me closer
i arch a little more
we'll keep going
you
you are
you're a god
and to be your goddes
It doesn't seem
like
It's the right thing.
Every time you
turn to look at me
throw the
smallest
glance
in my direction
Of course I feel it.
And it isn't right.
Is it?
You know it isn't.
Because every time
I return
those glances
those looks
those bolts of lightning
stunning in their impact
...
I don't know
what I'm doing.
And you know
I don't know what I'm doing.
But you play it up anyway.
You know it isn't right.
You know. And you
know
that I can't
do anything
to fight it.
Mr Candyman, with your stall by the beach
I breathe the sea air
Feel the wind in my hair.
My Candyman, showing me all your treats
My favorite's up there
Comes in lime, cherry, pear.
Mr Candyman, give that top hat a toss
The kids all love you
And your products, it's true.
Mr Candyman, making pink candy floss
In green and red, too
Other colors like blue.
Mr Candyman, you've been working so hard
All are satisfied
So you sell more with pride.
Mr Candyman, and your sign made of card
Kids walk by the tide
See the sweets that they've tried.
Mr Candyman, on your break, take a walk
You don't charge me a dime
But if you'd told me
I wouldn't be sitting here
With my comforts
And my toys
My soothers
And my candies
And other harmful substances
And I wouldn't be wondering
Exactly what is going on
What it is that's threatening to tear everything apart
What kind of pain it is
How long it'll take to get over
If it's even possible to get over it
And you know all the answers.
And you know that I hate not knowing.
And you won't put my mind at rest.
If you don't tell me I'll go on not knowing
Worrying
Or somebody else will let me know
Or I'll find out for myself
And then I'll hate you jus
And it is nothing more than pure, unadulterated
Agony
The pain I feel
The sickness and the fever
My withdrawal symptoms
You are my addiction
My painkiller
My favorite drug
One I tasted once
And never forgot.
My entire being aches for you
And it does not go unnoticed.
They say the first step to recovery is acknowledgement of a problem
But you have me hooked
You keep me waiting
Wanting
So I go the distance to
The flames are all around me
Dancing with passion
Licking around my frame
Eager to taste
Just as I am.
And I begin to wonder
What happens next?
When the smoke begins to suffocate me
When the heat of the moment is lost
And the fire in all its golden glory
&
Every day.
I think there's something I'm missing
Something I'm meant to say
Something I need to say
>How many times have I
And yet
It doesn't happen.
Every day.
Every single day.
And it's
Confusing
When you talk to me.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing you at all
And not some figment of my imagination
Born in the deep reaches of my mind.
Everything you say
I forget
And yet I know.
But I'm not listening
Though i hear it
Because when I listen
It just hurts.
i would build the sky for you
a protective dome
of silver and blue
where the stars come out
and cradle your head
where you can have what you want
and i don't want what you have
but i couldn't stop
and i couldn't stop
and i couldn't stop
and i couldn't start
to pick up the pieces of your broken heart
much as i wanted to,
much as i loved (for) you,
much as i wanted
wanted
wanted
to make everything new.
i can't sleep anymore
and i can't look
at the stupidest things
like dogs
and cats
and fucking parks
and the way you smiled like a honey lemon hurricane oh god
the way you held me in the dark.
sorry isn't a hard word
an
Current Residence: Earth MP3 player of choice: I neeeeeed a new one... please Santa... Favourite cartoon character: Sweetypuss. Hello Kitty. Other white female cats.
...Damn lightbulb.
AH STOLDED IT FRUM RAH.
1. How late did you stay up last
night?
Not very. I think I got into bed about 10
2. What was the first thing you
thought this morning?
I don't wanna go I don't wanna go I don't wanna go I have to go I don't wanna go I don't wanna go I don't wanna go to college I don't wanna go in I don't wanna go I have to go in I don't wanna GO
3. Is the person you have a crush on
older or younger than you?
Who says I have a crush ay?
4. What is he/she like?
Who knows
5. What do you hope to do this
weekend?
Uhhh take back the DVDs I borrowed from the library... feed my cats... I might have a shower
I like my last journal but it's a different kind of mood to whatever mood it is I'm in right now. Angry and annoyed, but none of my present hyperactivity or sarcasm. I'm not in a particularly bad kind of sarcastic mood right now... it's probably just this song. It makes me laugh, but only in a sarcastic way.
So I actually have no idea what the point of this is. Probably the fact that I have absolutely no idea what the point of anything is... and so I need something pointless yet enjoyable. That way it does have a point.
Who wants to take photos?? I'll let you see something you've never seen before... winkwink.
Also somebody please inspire
I'm always fucking waiting
and it's draining.
I'm at a loss for what to do creatively, and right now creativity is all I have (or had). I'm bored of everything, and nothing comes in such an endless supply as some of us would like to believe; I'm not entirely free to enjoy most of what I have enjoyed in the past, right now. It's all so 'unavailable,' in one way or another.
So what do I do right now so that I'm not doing what we like to call 'nothing'? Because it never is 'nothing' - you sit and you stay and you think and you blink and you stare and you breathe and you eventually move, because something in your mind compels you to do so. But